Romantic relationships begin on a high and happy note, full of hopes and dreams for the future. Maybe that is why the fall from such a “high” state of mind is all the more painful and you struggle to get back on your feet. It certainly is not easy when a promising relationship or a marriage ends, after all, you invest a lot of your mental energy and time into it, is it not? It just seems a colossal failure of shared dreams hopes and ambitions. You do not realize how much you have involved yourself in the relationship until such a time you realize it is falling apart. And then you are shattered when it ends, feels like a nail in your coffin.
Well, it is the reality that the relationship has not lasted and you are left to pick up the pieces and move on. You have no choice now, really, do you? Where do you begin? Here are a few pointers you could keep in mind while coping up with the situation.
Stop clinging on to the relationship.
Accept the situation. Things have not turned out to be the way you wanted it to be and therefore the consequence. Do not hang on to good memories and wallow in self-pity. It takes two to make any relationship work, remember it always. Do not allow your mind to keep going back to the good times you had in the relationship thus making you want the person more and further ruining your state of mind. Come to terms with the current scheme of things and shift focus to other important aspects of your life.
Do not fight your feelings.
Understand that it is normal to have conflicting emotions and outbursts at this phase in your life. You may feel angered resented confused and afraid. While dealing with these emotions may seem painful suppressing or not acknowledging that they exist may worsen the current predicament you are in. Give yourself time, go through whatever you feel, understand your state of mind and attempt to crawl out of it slowly. In short, allow your heart to rule over your mind until you feel better.
Give yourself a break from routine.
In situations where you feel terribly hopeless and know that you can’t be productive until you are over the hill with this phase, take a break. Go on a holiday, take a few days off and just unwind. Consciously work on your mind and slowly begin feeling better. Do whatever you think will work for you. After all one mind functions in a different manner from the other, understand your emotional demands and work on it.
Do not go through this by yourself.
Most of us have buddies. There will be a certain good friend you pour all your feelings to. Talk to the person, perhaps she/he will help you to see a different perspective on your situation. The mind is mostly blinded by your thoughts feelings and apprehensions, talking to a third person will throw a different light on the matter and thus help you cope better. If you do not feel like talking to anybody to maintain a diary and write all that you feel in it, you will definitely feel relieved.
Remember you still have a future.
While expressing your feelings can make you feel liberated, it is important to know that overdoing it still stagnates you. Try and get motivated by the fact that your hopes and ambitions haven’t suffered a similar fate and therefore it is important that you move on. It may not be the once shared ambition and dream you hoped for, but there is still a future waiting for you. Remind yourself about it every day.
Relationships are wonderful, they add a whole new dimension to your life, having said this it is important that you do not allow them to take over your life itself.